Shattered Stars
by RemusGuurl
Summary: Something happens to Lily and she becomes an outsider and a rebel. She soon starts thinking suicidal thoughts also. Who will be there to save her when she needs it? Lily/James
1. chapter one

Shattered Stars  
  
Disclaimer: I defiantly do not own Harry Potter. Don't sue!  
  
Summary: Something happens to Lily and she becomes an outsider and a rebel. She soon starts thinking suicidal thoughts also. Who will be there to save her when she needs it? Lily/James   
  
Pg-13 because of attempt suicide, cutting, swearing, and ect.   
  
Not a very cheerful fic but it will end up one. Please don't flame me to horribly, if it sounds like your not going to like it then don't read it.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Lily was an average girl, well other than the fact that she was a witch. In fact she was in her 5th year at Hogwarts. She did well in school, had a lot of friends, and was very pretty. Her best friend was Sonya Halls. Sonya was about 5 foot 9 inches she had dirty blonde hair to her waist and blue gray eyes. Lily herself was about 5 foot 7 inches and had the most red beautiful hair and emerald green eyes. Lily threw her hair behind her shoulder as she sat down at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall for breakfast. Sonya came and sat next to her. Lily reached and grabbed a blueberry bagel, she put some cream cheese on it, and took a bite as she heard some laughing across from her. She looked up and saw 'the marauders' as they called themselves. James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew to be exact. James had the messiest black hair and chocolate brown eyes. He stood about 6 feet tall, Sirius was his best friend and partner in crime. He also had brown eyes and black hair that was in a small ponytail in the back, he was about 6 foot 2 inches. Remus had sandy blonde hair, blue eyes and was about 5 foot 11 inches, while Peter had light brown hair and was a little pudgy, he was shorter than the others at about 5 foot 8 inches. They were all looking towards the Slytherin table, they had obviously just played a prank on Snape or something. Lily rolled her eyes and continue eating. Even though she was friends with them, she found their pranks childish. They said she only thought that because they played them on her sometimes. Her and Sonya hung around with the four boys a lot so they new each other but lately they were all growing apart, sure they would stay up late and talk to each other and hang out at Hogsmede trips but lately she felt that she was distant from them. After a while they turned back around and started eating breakfast. Soon all the owls came in and delivered letters, one surprisingly dropping a letter in front of Lily. She picked it up and opened it.  
  
To Lillian Evans  
  
We are very sorry but we regret to tell you that You-Know-Who has murdered your parents. Your sister Petunia was not murdered as she was at school when it happened. She is staying with your Aunt, the letter inside she has requested we give to you. Again we are very sorry.   
  
Ministry of Magic  
  
Lily reread the letter again ignoring Sonya's now frantic voice that was asking her what the letter was about. Lily could feel tears starting up in the corner of her eyes. 'No, no I will not cry. Not in front of the entire Great Hall.' She thought as she shoved Petunias letter in her pocket. She couldn't help the crying though. A single tear let down the side of her face. She looked up seeing the boys and Sonya all staring at her. She couldn't take it. 'No, no this isn't happening.' Her mind yelled. She stood up suddenly.  
  
"NO!" She yelled. Everyone turned towards her. She covered her face with her hands and whirled around knocking over her pumpkin juice in the process and raced out of the Great Hall. She ran down the halls until she couldn't breath. She was sobbing heavily and the running didn't help. She leaned up against the wall for support. She slid down a little ways. Then took out Petunias letter. It read:   
  
I cannot believe you. This is totally your fault. I always knew you were a freak. Just stay at your school for freaks and never bother me ever. I want you out of my life...  
  
Lily heard someone's running footsteps. She managed to get herself up and ran as fast as she could till she finally got to the fat lady.   
  
"Is something wrong, hun?" The fat lady asked  
  
" Fire Fairies" She shouted and the picture swung open. Lily dashed into the common room in the middle her legs gave way, she was still crying she took the letter out again and read the last line that she had not read before.  
  
You are no longer my sister.  
  
'NO, no this is all a dream, it's not real dammit, its all fake!' she thought.  
  
"no..." she whispered and the passed out in the middle of the common room.  
  
**James POV**  
  
'Pulling a prank on Snape is always a nice thing to wake up to' James thought as he reached over and took a piece of toast. He started putting some jam on it when he heard Sonya ask Lily who the letter was from. He looked up and saw Lily turn ghostly pale. He could tell Sonya noticed it too, because her voice became more worried. He took a bite of toast and then looked back up at Lily. He saw a single tear fall from her eyes.   
  
"Lils?" he said softly. She was oblivious that he had even said her name. He dropped his toast as she suddenly jumped up and yelled no and ran out of the room spilling her pumpkin juice. A bit of it splashed his face. He and Sonya both stood up. Sirius, Remus, and Peter were looking on worriedly. He looked at Sonya, she sat back down obviously telling by the look on his face that he would deal with it. James ran out of the Great Hall after her. He saw a piece of parchment on the floor and picked it up (A.N- It's the letter from the minister of magic for those who haven't caught on) He saw that it was addressed to Lillian Evans 'Merlin, should I read it, I don't really have the right...' He decided not to. He folded it up and put it in his pocket and continued running. 'She probably went to the common room or her dorm.' He thought and turned a corner. He finally reached the fat Lady.  
  
"Oh great, another kid running around who probably won't inform me of what's happening." The Fat Lady said and sighed.  
  
"Fire Fairies" James yelled, ignoring the fat ladies complaining. The portrait swung open and James ran in. He saw Lily in the middle of the common room floor. Her cheeks stained with tears. He ran over to her. She was breathing fine and had probably just passed out from being tired so he decided not to bring her to the nurse. He picked her up and walked up to her dorm. He wasn't worried about anyone seeing him in the girls dorm because it was Friday and everyone had classes after breakfast, 'Might as well skip not like its something I haven't done before' he thought. He set her down and pulled the covers over her. He sat at the end of her bed with the letter in his hand, he had found a second one crumpled up in her hand. 'I don't want invade her privacy but I have to know what's going on!' He was about to read the letter when he heard Lily wake up.  
  
**Lily POV**  
  
Lily moved a little. 'my head is killing me' she thought. She sat up and opened her eyes.   
  
"J...James?" She asked "What happened? Why am I in my dorm? What about classes!?" She asked.  
  
"I don't know what happened you ran off crying, your in your dorm cause you fainted before I found you, and don't worry about classes." James explained.  
  
"I had the most horrible dream" She said.  
  
"This is yours" James said handing her the second letter only. She looked at it. 'It wasn't a dream, IT WASN'T A DREAM' she thought and started crying again.  
  
"No, it wasn't a dream!" She yelled and curled up into a ball slightly.   
  
"Leave! Now leave!" She yelled. James stood up and backed up to the door way.  
  
"Lils..." He said softly.   
  
"Out!" She said and through a glass that was on the stand next to her bed at him, he shut the door and it shattered against it. He walked to the top of the stairs that led down to the common room. He sat down on the first step as Sonya, Sirius, Remus, and Peter all ran in. They stopped when they saw James. Everyone stood there silent for a second.  
  
"W...well?" Sonya spoke up.   
  
"You guys should be in class" James said quietly.  
  
"And leave Lily?" Sirius said and then shook his head.  
  
"What happened?" Remus said taking a step forward. James shook his head. He then took out the first letter he had found and opened it.  
  
**Lily's POV**  
  
"Why me?" she cried into her pillow. She had no where to go now and no family. She walked into the bathroom and looked into the mirror. 'Im so sick of being such a perfect pretty girl. All I want is for people to leave me alone forever!' She looked at her self 'Stupid red hair, ugly green eyes, I hate myself!' She punched her fist into the mirror. It shattered and pieces fell into the sink except for the ones that had not broken off and were still on the wall. Blood ran down her hand. She raised it up and studied it as blood dripped down her arm. Looking at herself bleed eased her. She picked up a sharp shard of mirror from the sink. She lightly pushed it against the skin on her arm and a drop of blood came on. Some what scared of what she was doing she threw the piece back into the sink and left the bathroom. She wrapped a bandage around her hand and flopped down on her bed. She looked at the stand that was next to her bed. The glass she had thrown at the door had been there. There was also 3 framed photos. One was of her family, the other of the marauders and Sonya, and the last one was of her and James. It had been taken last summer and it was taken in Lily's back yard, he was standing behind Lily and he had his arms wrapped around her. Lily had always been close friends with James, she had started liking him more than that but never said anything because she doubted he liked her in that way. Lily scooped up the pictures, a tear running down her cheek, she put them away in her trunk. She didn't want to see them. She started crying again and fell asleep.  
*******************************************************************************  
  
That's all for this chap. I know it's short but I'll try to make the rest longer. I'll update sooner if I get lots of nice reviews ^_^. I'm not quite sure if I want to continue this story so if people don't like it I probably wont continue. I have a few ideas but if anyone has any I could use it would be helpful cause I don't know what I'm going to have happen next. Please review!!!!! 


	2. chapter two

Shattered Stars  
  
Disclaimer: I defiantly do not own Harry Potter. Don't sue!  
  
Summary: Something happens to Lily and she becomes an outsider and a rebel. She soon starts thinking suicidal thoughts also. Who will be there to save her when she needs it? Lily/James   
  
Pg-13 because of attempt suicide, cutting, swearing, and ect.   
  
*****************************************************************************  
  
"Well?" Sonya said "James??"   
  
"Not here," James said and stuffed the letter back in his pocket.  
  
"Where then?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Well we could go to the shrieking shack," Remus suggested.   
  
"The shrieking shack!?" Sonya said looking at Remus as if he was crazy. The marauders had yet to tell Sonya and Lily that Remus was a werewolf. "First of all, its haunted and second of all, are you saying we should just totally ditch classes?"  
  
"What, ickle Sony afraid of a so called haunted house?" Sirius teased. All that got him was a smack upside the head though.   
  
"I...I'm not afraid!" Sonya argued.   
  
"It's okay Sony, it's not really haunted," Remus said putting an arm around her. She blushed and stepped awkwardly away. Sirius snickered and started walking out of the portrait. Everyone followed as he led them out onto the grounds. They walked up to the whomping willow, James picked up a stick and prodded at a notch in the tree and it soon became still.   
  
"Hey! You guys are keeping secret passages from me and Lily. I thought we knew them all," Sonya complained.   
  
"We keep a lot of secrets from you, are you kidding?" Sirius said, that earned him another smack from Sonya. James and Remus laughed at him.   
  
"Stop laughing, that hurts," Sirius said. They finally made it to the shrieking shack. Sonya looked around. It was a little dusty but still quite nice.   
  
"And it's really not haunted?" She asked uneasily.   
  
"Really really," Sirius laughed. James sat down on chair, Sirius on the floor, and Sonya and Remus sat next to each other on a couch. Sirius fiddled with his wand and then said a spell causing the fire to leap to life.   
  
"Now, will you tell us what is going on, James?" Sonya said. James ran his hand through his messy hair, making it even more messier then before if it was possible. He pulled the letter out of his pocket, he started to read it outloud but then stopped.   
  
"What?" Remus asked.   
  
"I don't know, I feel like a prat reading her mail," James said.   
  
"Well I don't," Sirius said and snatched it away. "To Lillian Evans. We are very sorry but we regret to tell you that You-Know-Who has murdered your parents. Your sister Petunia was not murdered as she was at school when it happened. She is staying with your Aunt, the letter inside she has requested we give to you. Again we are very sorry. Ministry of Magic..."  
  
"Sirius you bloody idiot!" James yelled.   
  
"What! I...I didn't know!" Sirius said in his own defense.   
  
"I think James was right on not wanting to read it. We should have listened," Sonya said softly.   
  
"Maybe...maybe we shouldn't tell Lily we know and if she tells us...then she tells us, and we can deal with it then," Remus said.   
  
"but what if she doesn't tell us, she needs someone to talk to..." Sonya said.   
  
"That's true, but if she knows we read her mail, even if it was just to help her, she's not going to be to happy," James said, shaking his head.   
  
"I'd rather poke and angry hippogriff with a sharp stick then tell her we read her mail," Sirius said "Let's just try and cheer her up today."  
  
"Sirius?" Sonya said.   
  
"Um...yes?" He said.   
  
"If your parents died...do you think you could 'cheer up'?" Sonya said quietly and then walked away. The marauders stayed where they were, thinking.   
  
***********  
  
Lily was laying on her bed staring into space, no thoughts going through her head. Then she picked up the letter from her sister, it had been sticking out of her pocket. She crinkled it and threw it to the floor. 'The other...letter...' Lily thought. She darted straight up and looked around on the floor. No where. She jumped out of her bed and quickly went through everything she owned. The letter was no where. It had just vanished. But that would be impossible, right? Someone had to have the letter. She then remembered James, giving her the letter from her sister. 'James...' Lily thought bitterly. He had her letter, she knew it, and she knew by now he had to have read it. She looked down at her dorm room floor. Her belongings spread out everywhere from her trying to find the letter. The photos in frames that had been on her table by her bed, the ones she had hid away in her trunk, they where on the ground half covered in her school robes. She dropped to her knees, picking them up.   
  
"Dammit!" She cried out as she threw the one of her and James across the room. It hit the wall and the glass shattered. Her tears fell from her eyes as she dashed out of the room. She ran down the stairs and across the common room, almost out the portrait when she hit something, hard, and went flying to the ground. Her body shook with her sobs, she had landed on someone. She opened her eyes and blinked back tears, only to come face to face with none other then James. Her eyes widened and she slammed her fists down on James chest.   
  
"Bastard! Give it back, it was none of you concern! I hate you James Potter, with all my bloody heart!" Lily yelled, her voice echoing throughout the empty common room. Silence, and nothing but that for a few minutes. "I said give it to me! Give me my letter back!" She yelled again and started to hit him again.  
  
"Lily stop it!" James yelled. He grabbed her fists and rolled her off him and him on top of her. He held her fists above her head, so she couldn't move.   
  
"Get. Off. Me!" Lily said through her gritted teeth.   
  
"I didn't read your letter," James said.  
  
"I know you Potter, and I -know- when you are bloody lying to me!" Lily hissed.   
  
"Fine, we've now established I'm a bad liar. It doesn't matter, what matters is whether or not your okay," James said. Pretty bad move on his part.   
  
"Me? Whether or not I'm okay? Does it matter? NO!" Lily spat "Give me my letter, get off me, and leave me the hell alone!"   
  
"It does matter!" James yelled. Lily had finally gained enough strength though to push him off her. They both stood up.   
  
"Potter, I'm going to repeat myself so listen up," Lily said "Give me my letter!" James scrambled to check his pockets. Both were empty. 'Sirius...' He thought.   
  
"I...I don't have the letter," James said quietly. Lily's eyes widened and her whole body shook. She unsteadily raised a hand and slapped him. James brought his head back up and he reasoned with himself about how he had deserved it.  
  
"Who..." Lily said, her voice breaking.   
  
"Sirius," James started.   
  
"You bloody git," Lily said "You had no right!" She yelled and then ran out of the room.   
  
James fell back onto a nearby couch. He let out a large sigh as he closed his eyes, and almost fell asleep. He would have if Sirius, Remus, and Sonya hadn't walked in.   
  
"You okay Jamesie? Your looking a bit pale there mate," Sirius said, leaning over James. Sonya took a seat next to him.  
  
"Something wrong?" Sonya said.   
  
"Lily is beyond upset," James sighed "She knows I had her note, and she demanded I gave it back to her. Only someone never gave it back to me," James said and raised an eyebrow at Sirius. Sirius bit his lip and passed James the letter.  
  
"Sorry," He muttered.  
  
"Not your fault Padfoot," Remus said and put a hand on Sirius's shoulder.  
  
"Maybe I should talk to her?" Sonya suggested. James nodded in agreement.   
  
"She doesn't know you know yet though, same with you Remus," James said.   
  
"Where did she go after she talked to you?" Sirius asked.  
  
"I don't know, she ran off," James mumbled.   
  
**********  
  
Sonya, James, Sirius, and Remus sat down at the end on the table in the Great Hall for Dinner. None of them had seen Lily all day, and assumed she wanted to be left alone. The food appeared on the table and the three boys started piling it all on their plates.  
  
"Boys," Sonya sighed in disgust. Lily walked in finally and Sonya waved to her to get her to sit next to her but Lily walked right past. Sonya blinked in confusion and looked at James who was to the left of her. He shrugged, and picked up his plate. Sonya, Sirius, and Remus did the same and they walked over sitting next to Lily.   
  
"Hey Lily!" Sonya said and smiled.   
  
"'ello," Lily sighed, she sounded like she really didn't want to talk to any of them.   
  
"Oi, James, Lily, we have a quidditch practice after this," Sirius said with his mouth full of food. James noticed Lily grit her teeth in frustration. He was confused though because he knew Lily loved quidditch and thought maybe it would help her to be out flying. Lily shoved another bite of food in her mouth, slammed her fork down, and then stood up.   
  
"I -quit- quidditch, now leave me alone!" Lily spat as she walked out of the great hall.   
  
"Quit...quidditch...," James said wide eyed "Is that even possible? How can you just quit quidditch!" Sonya rolled her eyes.  
  
"Sorry to wreck your dreams James, but the world does not revolve around quidditch," Sonya sighed "She must being feeling bloody horrible if she quit though, she loved quidditch." Lily was a chaser on the Gryffindor team, Sirius a beater, and James was also a chaser. (AN- I made James a chaser, so help me god. I don't want to get one b.s. review/flame about how he was a seeker. Frankly, I don't give a damn, if you don't like it then pretend I said seeker, it doesn't matter. If it matters THAT much to you write your own story and make him seeker, honestly I don't care. This is FANfiction as in I write how I please. I got so much crap about it on my other story I reeeeeeeeeeally don't care and all reviews about it whether bad OR good will go straight to my email recycle bin. And if someone dare flame me about it even after this warning, ya better be anonymous and not logged in, or trust me, I'll get revenge ^_~)  
  
********  
  
Lily walked up to her dorm. No one was there and her room was still trashed. She swiftly kicked it all into a pile by her bed. When she got to the photo she picked up the glass and threw it away all except the longest and quite sharp shard and took it into the bathroom. She struck it across her milky white skin on her arms then looked into the now fixed mirror. She raised the long shard of glass to her chest. The tip rested above where her heart would be. She gripped the glass then brought it back down knowing a stupid little piece of glass would do nothing. She let out a large sigh and watched the blood drip down her arms. Then she heard the dorm door open and she quickly turned to it, wide eyed.   
  
********************************************************************************  
  
Yay! An update! Lol. Now what should happen next? Should whoever it is see Lily? Who should it be?! I HAVE NO IDEA! Lol so help an author out? Lol please reviewww! 


End file.
